- A few powerful drops of serum
- Drink pure collagen every day
- Use Cold plasma Sub-D
- Save an average of £866
- 38% Larger
- Moisturize in the shower
- Anti Stain Technology
These are just a few examples of the headlines used in the advertising on my TV this evening. The problem with these headlines is? They are all bollox, every one of them.
“A few powerful drops of serum” is from a hair products advertisement. Does anyone know what “Serum” is? There is no explanation on the advertisement, just an assertion that you need it.
“I drink pure collagen every day” is another beauty product headline. In this case no one explains what collagen is or why you should drink it every day. Collagen is in fact about 25% of all the soft tissue in our body, it is all the connective tissue and is in muscles. It is a natural protein. I still don’t know why you should drink it.
“Cold plasma Sub-D” Honestly, I watched half an hour of programmed advertising and still didn’t find out what it is so I went to Google and asked. It was created by Dr Nick Perricola, a real doctor of medicine in the US, a self proclaimed expert in beauty. I still don’t know what Clod Plasma Sub-D is. Or why I need it.
“Save an average of £866” is from an advertisement from a company that wants to buy your car. Although they explain this is the saving made over the trade in value they don’t explain how that value is derived. It is meaningless.
“38% Larger” Than what?
“Moisturise in the shower” Im a man, I don’t moisturise.
However the last quote here “With Anti Stain Technology” is the headline from an advertisement for a washing machine. I thought getting rid of stains was the idea of a washing machine. They all have, by definition, anti stain technology. How can you turn a basic feature into a benefit?
Stop Listening And Think!
Advertisers are so confident you will buy their product they don’t even bother to be clever about their advertising any more. They hold it up, wave it in front of you, talk bollox then sit back and relax as you buy it. And buy it you will.
Although it is clear all products are sold this way the main culprit has to be beauty products.
The advertisers of beauty products have given up using language we would recognise and are now inventing a whole new vocabulary to describe their products.
The Sub-D Serum Cold Moisturizing Plasma Drops are an entirely made up products. From concept to innovation they are created not to solve a problem but to fill a tiny niche of market that has been identified. A market for a “blue package with orange labels smelling of apples and used by 18 year old women in the shower” Go make it!
And then sell it, don’t forget to use these compelling statements;
- Problematic areas
- Changed My Life
- Buy the products
- Get Results
- The only product you need
- You could get the same results.
Ah yes, you could get the same results, if you talk bollox and have the advertising budget you too could be a big brand beauty company.
Women and girls, and to a small extent young men are the victims. Cosmetics, beauty and media companies have cooperated in brainwashing 50% or more of the western worlds population into believing they are well below perfect.
Without the right hair, face, skin, shower, deodorising, moisturising and, or hand products these people will remain less than perfect, they are doomed to be lonely, unloved, freaks who no one will ever give any attention to. Except that is, the very companies selling the products you need if you ever want to succeed at work, in love or life.